Why I Quit Disneyland

After only 8 months with the company, I turned in my two week notice on Tuesday. There is many reasons as to why i did so, but a few are important enough to actually blog about. The first is that i mentally couldn’t handle it. You have to at least act like you want to be there every time you are on-stage. When you work for the happiest place on earth, you don’t really get to have “off” days, which is almost impossible already but when you add bi-polar into the mix it makes it even WORSE. Also the fact that everyone acts like they are still in high school makes it hard to keep up the act. I tried to stay out of the chaos the best i could, but somehow kept getting dragged in.

Which leads to the second reason, which is that people just couldn’t keep the drama out of the workplace. I personally couldn’t care less about who was sleeping with who and why someone got fired that no one liked anyways. I’m not about that life. However, my few friends that i do care about started to go through things and naturally i wanted to be there for them. There was even a situation where i went to stand up for a “friend” and that led to being put under investigation, which sucked.

And my final reason was that i have a new job that is full time and pays better, but Disney would not work with my schedule. It was interesting when i was only getting maybe 20 hours a week before i changed my availability and then Disney gives me 30+. It was killing me physically since i would be up Β at 7 am, be done with my new job at 5 pm, then need to be at Disney before 7 pm, and stay until 1230 am. I had no time to clean, no time to sleep, and no time just to chill. It was terrible.

I will miss working for the mouse. I met a lot of really great people, learned a lot of new things, and spent tons of time in the parks that i wouldn’t have been able to before. However, i needed a steady job that paid better than minimum wage so i can pay the bills. But I plan on getting a annual pass for Disneyland so that i can still go whenever i want to. I first need to sort out my finances, and wait for the summer season to die down before spending that money.

But here is to new things!

xoxo, Xee


Lets Try & Get Healthy: Beginnings

Doctors Recommend that if you have any sort of mental health diagnosis, you try to make your physical body as healthy as possible. I’m pretty sure that’s because all doctors must feel some sort of obligation to tell their patients to work out and eat right. However, now that i’m an adult (sort of) and i have some time to work on it, I’ve decided to get started with it. So that being said, if i make sure to post about it weekly, it might keep me into the habit of both blogging and being healthy. Maybe? We will see.

I got a gym membership to my local gym about two weeks ago. In the Southern California area, there is a gym company called 24 hour fitness that has a ton of different gyms all over the area. With Disneyland, I got a major discount for a membership. Instead of paying a ton in initiation fees and per month, my fees were waived and i am able to pay $40 a month to go to all of the gyms in the area… well except one but that’s only because it apparently has a rock wall. Big whoop! There is a gym right down the street from me, so i have no excuses. It also is, i’m sure you could guess, 24 hours so even on my latest shifts i can go.

Now my workout routine is a little rusty since I haven’t had a gym class for since my sophomore year of high school which was 8 years ago. SO i don’t remember how to run the mile or do at least one pull up. I normally do workout classes, like zumba and yoga, whenever i am able to make the class time. Those classes are fun but also make me sweat, which is the whole point. However, when its about 10pm since i just got off work, I have to rely on something to show me what to do. That is where my good friend Pinterest comes in. I have a whole board called “Nerdy Training Routine” which if you would like to see is right Here, which shows workouts I can do based on characters that i like. It feels really good to think I might look like Catwoman one day πŸ™‚

Now when it comes to eating right, my step-mother gave me a Nutri-Bullet that a client gave her and she never opened. It is one of the those deluxe ones that came with two huge cups, lids, handles, and a giant book of recipes. As I have only had this for about a week, i have stayed pretty boring with my shake creations. Mostly, i just put fruit yogurt, a banana, another fruit (mostly peaches), and ice in the cup and blend it up. I love peaches and bananas make it just a little thicker. Soon I will get protein powder to add into it, but i hardly have the time or funds right now to do it. Once i do, ill be sure to write more about the shake creations I make. But if you want to try a simple one, here is a quick recipe?

Miss Xee Harlow’s Super Simple Peach Smoothie

1 whole banana, peeled and sliced into little pieces

1 whole can of cut peaches, canned with fruit syrup. 

1 peach yogurt

8 ice cubes

Dump it all into the Nutri-Bullet cup, twist in the blender head, and blend. Best served cold!

What kinds of smoothies do you make? Please send me a couple of your favorites so i can try them out!

Cheers, Xee

I Needed To Take Some Time For Myself

Trigger Warning: Suicide, Suicidal Ideations, Depression, Attempted Suicide.

Over the last couple of days, I started having serious thoughts about killing myself. Now, as usual, there wasn’t anything i could think of off the top of my head that could cause it. I just didn’t want to continue living. I started to have a plan in mind, which happens from time to time with me, but i also started to prepare for it. I had a text set up for my father to see so he could find me before Charlie got too hungry and a list of where things should go.

The first night i called someone who is considered one of my best friends and felt very brushed off. The second night I couldn’t get a hold of anyone that i knew would be able to help. It wasn’t until the third night, when i was at work, was i able to get some kind of help. I left work in a rush and called my father who came over and spent the night to make sure i didn’t do anything. The fourth night was saved by a friend of mine who made me promise i was going to be at her pool party that next day. She didn’t have any idea of how i had been feeling, but when i showed up, she noticed how i looked.

Why am i talking about this? Because i had to take 3 days off work in order to feel better. Luckily Disney has a great sick policy that helps give people time to recover without collecting too many points up. I’m just very grateful that my job gives me that kind of option even though they don’t know yet that i have bipolar disorder. So what i’m saying is that if you can check in with your job when things get rough and see what they can offer. My last few jobs have been decent about that and realistically speaking, its considered a disability and they have to help with that. Naturally, i wouldn’t start off with that. Just remember your rights.

Cheers, Xee

Sewing Project: Spring Dapper Day Dress(es)

If you don’t know anything about Dapper Days at Disney, then here is a little explanation. Its an unofficial event at the Disneyland parks where people get to come in dressed up very nice and hang out. Many people Disneybound, which is taking colors from a favorite Disney character and using them into your outfit. For some, its just a great reason to come into the parks and look great. For others, its a social event. For some of my friends, its a photo shoot waiting to happen. Thankfully, i got to experience all three with good friends.

However, i felt the need to make all of my own things for this weekend. I have a dress form that i received for Christmas and just made the time to sew two different looks. The first look I did in 6 hours. May i mention that it was only possible because my manic tendency was on overdrive and i just couldn’t stop myself from doing it. The second one i took longer with, but i love how the both came out.

So here it is! Look number one was based on my favorite princess, Rapunzel.

And here is look number two, which I based on Mickey Mouse while he was in Steamboat Willie!

I did make both dresses by myself. Each had patterns that I used and bought the fabric from Joann’s. For my shoes, i made them as well from plain shoes i bought for $5 from Michael’s and used fabric paint pens. I am really happy with how they turned out. Next dapper days, which is in the fall, i might make one of the outfits and buy the second. It was a ton of work to do this all in a few days, but i couldn’t be happier with the outcome.

Any ideas of what i should make next? Let me know!

Cheers, Xee

Cosplay Project: Tinkerbell

For 2017 Wonder Con, my good friends had costumes to fit into Peter Pan. One was a Neverland mermaid and another was a pirate, but they were meeting up with a group who had the main characters of the movie. I thought it would be fun to make a Tinkerbell costume to walk around in, sort of as a jab at my ex who had been stalking my social media for awhile there. So within 4 days, i made a full Tinkerbell costume. My friend thankfully had a wig, so the rest was up to me. Here is a couple of quick shots of the costume!

The wings were made of floral wire, cellophane, and poster board which took about 4 hours to build. They weren’t very sturdy and began to fray towards the end of the day, but a lot of people were very impressed with them! The shoes were just silver flats i had that i painted over with neon paint and hot glued the little pom poms. The dress was only a pattern at the top so i could fit it around my chest. The bottom was free hand.

I already know what i want to do to change the whole costume. If i can get my hands on some heavy duty plastic, i am going to remake the wings all together. The dress also is completely scrapped, but that i because i now know what i need to do to make it better. A huge challenge was also attaching the wings to the dress, which i figured out a new way to do it.

Although this project was meant really out of spite and for fun, i enjoyed being Tinkerbell! A lot of little kids wanted to take pictures with me and were super sweet about it. As mentioned, I am going to remake the whole costume so that i can maybe wear it for my friends character party business. We will see!

Up next is a post about some dresses I had made for Dapper Day, so let me know your thoughts!

Cheers, Xee

Hello May

Things have been interesting to say the least. My manic cycle of 60 something days finally ended and thankfully, there was no extreme crash. I am starting to really get into my own life and do my own thing. It takes quite a bit of effort to continue moving forward like this, but i need to. I cant rely on someone to entertain or inspire me. Im gaining my own inspiration slowly but surely.

Work has been boring for me, however. That happens a lot for people with bipolar disorder and its happened to me many times before. I’ve gone through many jobs because of it. A great thing about Disneyland is that there is always room to move forward and beyond. So i am not too worried about it. I just want to figure out where my place is in this big company, and i hope that where i end up is where i want to be.

I’ve met someone. Its nothing serious and frankly i’m not sure they feel the same way i do, but that is okay. I was never looking for anything. This person is interesting me to me though. We come from much of the same background but also completely different. Both from slightly wealthy families. Both graduated college with high remarks. However, where i was wrapped up in the world of depression, nerding, and doing basically nothing outside of obligations; they were in greek clubs and partied and went to a fancy UC. We do have common interests though. Musicals are something we can actually enjoy together. they also play the stand up bass and it kills my little bass loving heart.

I’ve worked on a lot of projects, which i will be posting about soon. The time just kept getting away from me actually writing them out and posting them. I’m working on getting better about it. I also have started working out 3 times a week, so maybe ill try and post between those days. Who knows?

Cheers, Xee

& here she comes

Sometimes you just need to re-evaluate your life. This happens a little too often, in my case, but that is okay. I can consider it progress in hopefully the right direction.

So lets start about myself. I am 23 years old. I live in my own apartment with my cat and work 2 jobs. The most hours comes from working at Disneyland as a Jungle Cruise Skipper & the most money comes from being a notary. My hogwarts house is Slytherin and my myers briggs is ENXJ. I also have type 2 bipolar disorder, which is probably the most influential part of my life. I also have been out of what was a 4 year relationship for about a month now. Its been interesting thus far.

My goals are to one day have my own house, write a novel that gets published, and stay with the Disney corporation for as long as I can.

I enjoy Disneyland, sewing outfits and costumes, RPG games, and reading YA fiction. I try to make most of my disneybounds and costumes for cosplay. Hopefully, I’ll be able to complete more now that ill have the funds to do it.

Here’s to actually trying to keep this blog updates!

Cheers, Xee